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Chopped Lumps

by Mildew Mildew

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1.
I wanna be like Joaquin Phoenix in that one movie Where he kills a bunch of aliens I wanna be like him and have some power When I flail my fingers for next to no one I wanna save the world And make your day From some humdrum dumb one Stumbling into someone I wanna be like Javier Bardem In no country for old men Sweat out the sultry Not trying to please anyone but me As I take a crack at the leak (I pretend not to notice nothing) I've only got eyes for you (I know that that's true, you would never lie) Must be mute never mentioned it to me (I pretend not to know nothing) A billion burning hoops to jump back and forth through And loop that part that plays out lopsided
2.
Besides 03:05
You can tell me if you think I'm doing something wrong Any time at all You can tell me if you think I'm making too much fun of you You can spill and pour all over me I'm the one that's poking at your water bed You can tell me if I'm taking up too much from nap time Besides being beside you Makes me the happiest (I'll be beside you if you don't want to) (I'll be beside you unless you don't want me to) As I'm plodding along this tight rope in these glass slippers I start blotting on my b I n g o bingo page And start slipping because I'm balancing you on my nose And I can't make out what you're juggling is that an axe or two I can't keep taking punches in my uvula punching bag No I can't, in my punching bag (my uvula punching bag) Eyelash window wiper extensions help with the waterworks (Go on, keep taking punches)
3.
Ands 02:49
I got so used to being around you That you are a limb And an organ And I will go limp Spastic popped blimp Do the jumble (Do the jumble) Do the mambo (Do the mambo) Eyelashes are sewn shut My split ends have split ends And everything's exploding Beginning middle and end And and and and and and and and and and and and This and that and this and that and that And I
4.
Happy birthday Happy birthday It's been awhile since we celebrated you It's been 365 days it's been 52 weeks too long Happy happy happy happy happy happy Birthday 2 u
5.
Bleep that bleep off bleep you bleep this bleep me bleep bro bleep fried bleep rice bleep man I've waited o so long To figure out what's wrong with these feelings I have Cyclops, I think you fell in the orgasm chasm You don't even have any tissues left to cry into Cuz you used them all on your one-eyed monster bleep fish bleep dog bleep cat bleep king bleep queen bleep jack bleep wow bleep great bleep wow f yes f no play this on the radio Bumper cars bumping me into you This time gorilla glue surely won't do I'll grab the aye-aye adhesive And then we'll see just what this thing will give Does that sound cool? Does that sound fine? ohhhh
6.
I have a dunce cap that's made just for me I have a dunce cap that's purple and green I have a dunce cap made custom size 13 Do you have a dunce cap that's been kept totally clean I'd wear it for eternity times 3 I wear it at the multiplex I'd wear it for googolplex But it's not as hard as you think it is But it's not as hard as you say But I know now I know now What a waste of time it must've been for so long My cat shit on my beastie boys shirt I think everyone could use a little hand And if it helps why not join a band You and I are conjoined at the hips like a Venn diagram Stop the drums, start the drums I can't make up my mind I gotta lot to think about like How it's not a lot to do today I've got a lot to do But I know now I know now It's not that much to do actually I'm just a big baby (You can do a lot lot) (With the time you got got) (Please don't give it up today)
7.
Bungee jump (Adequate) Back into bed (Interactions) Dry hump (In the stall) The pillow instead (In the basement) Logging in (It can't be) Fucking off (The plastic surgeon) Writing in (Falling off) Written off again (Well there we go) I can't see you (I can see) But how come (Those cum-stained boots) You you you (Bring your family) dot com (And show them off) Earlobe (Navel) Xenophobe (Hemaphobe) I'm new here (I've been there) Won't be long (Here we go) Yes I am Blindfolded walking with my hands in front of my face Lingo (Fuck you) Do you know (What, what?) What you said (Yes I do) Say it again (Fuck you) Bazooka Joe (Reverse jump) Bumping boots (Karate slap) Thumping foots (Clean machine) On my face (Keep it clean) Dominos (Falling down) Tracker (Jackal) Tracking me (Hate speech) And my pizza (Always cheese) Paws off (Pause, play) Who told you (You told me) You're allowed (To climb trees?) I must've I must be responsible Allowing cookies and bits Softly worn hardware Resounding yes
8.
I have to pee Do you know where the bathroom is Any one will have to do I want to kill some time Tinder on the toilet Throwing slurs you won't catch me online Hey what's up with you? Nothing much you know Standing in the queue like you do I was wondering What's your @ Anyway mines @blunderingstupididiotlolcat Hanging out is the meaning of life Try chilling with your life's digital canvas.jpeg I turned around I asked Kyle For a style file addressed to me personally I trust him, says he's ethereal Identifies my style as yesterday's washed up cereal So what does one wear? I'm looking to make friends Rip it off from the nearest upholstery material Once you do that you're pretty much a chameleon Forget about being a clumsy comedian Now close your eyes All your friends are here They all love you You are loved by these digital names attached to humans you crave and feel a big hug hug hug hug hug Hug me hug you hug me yeah yeah Hug you hug me from afar yeah
9.
Scissorkickz 03:23
Jutting lanes on silver rails Dandruff flakes tinge my trails Traffic pole, can I go?? I need a crossing guardian angel With neon orange bright wings My favourite night light thing A hearth to heat my happening I don't know what I'm doing in this building I don't know what my tongue just said to my teeth I chew too loud for this library But these lie berries taste so unordinary I see myself in the floors I mop I see myself in the drinks I drop Why are my ideas worse in the morning Am I boring? Could you even make a movie about me? That's 90 minutes in length and gets all the details straight Everything's moving around me I'm floating to the ceiling and I love the floor Scissorkick me in the face I need to get up Scissorkick me in the face I need to move now I wanna stick a straw through your eyelid And drink out all your tears I wanna have warm hands What's wrong with these cold glands
10.
I had counted every dollar That I owned and that I squalor'd I was dripping drool from my dripper Pool filled up to my zipper Bought another breakfast muffin Can't price-match my favourite coffin Change falls out my pockets every time I hiccup And I can't stop hiccuping You can solve my sudoku puzzle And I'll sieve through your solitaire You are never giving up (Don't give up, don't give up!) (Just live up, just live up!) (Snuck on a rollercoaster but I'm not tall) Falling down a bunch of stairs I can't find a pair of underwear I can't go out like this It feels like my face has fallen And I don't care if you are frowning I can't seem to get enough of this
11.
I'll steal you some sticky tack And stick us back to back I'll kiss your frontal lobe And hope she kisses you back She kicks you in the sleep And fudges up your dreams I'll pop you some tarts Empty your brain and fill up your <3 It's hard to understand how I fell apart And I fell behind but don't know how to start And I've been wasting time Stuttering my words And I wish that I could fill up my <3 Fill up my <3 till it explodes My jaw feels quite the ache From smiling ear to ear Even if I only think about Whenever you are near Sitting in our time machine Every second goes so fast You're my science-fiction fantasy Fill up my <3 heart, make this feeling last You make my inner monologue do a fire engine sound You carry me up a ladder when I am feeling down If life had any meaning, must it be while were apart Splish splash 500 psi will fill each other's <3 s Fill up my <333333333333
12.
Pet Rock 01:00
I skipped a stone and lost my pet rock I hugged a tree and got covered in sap If you kick enough snails to the grass You can forget about your past (That's the way it goes) Playing leap frog with myself Because I f'd up the spelling bee I'm a telescope that can see my trajectory Is tragic (That's the way it goes)
13.
Pet Funk 01:40
Boom Diddy do do Do de do de do
14.
It's not supposed to make you feel like sh*t but it does When your friends make a little more progress than you Shame on me Shame on you It's the littlest tiny things That bother you And bother me Does it bother anyone else? Everyone is trying hard and you can't even try soft So everything turns out medium There is too much medium in the world So why not try to be bolder? Even if the spotlights are dim
15.
Dum Ass 02:36
Hightailing it out of this conversation Address me with an _ Revving up my nerve-shot excitebike I'm the last dumb ass to class I can't keep you away From those negative thoughts dripping through your brain No I can't keep you away From those negative thoughts tap dancing through your brain Bogged down by boring blogs Countdown till my throat gets clogged I can't hear a word No I can't even speak I'm afraid anything I say will make someone think That I hate them
16.
I would like to get something off my chest at the beginning of this song It's about many things: short, fat, thin, really tall It's squeaky and it's chatty and you might learn a bunch You might get a hunch to punch me in the face sometimes More often than not I deserve it and it's worth it Because I'd rather get my come-up-ins than never come up at all And all and all and all I gotta go go go go go By my age I should've done this and that And poof there goes my gusto And presto I'm flat broke It's a joke everything's a joke If you try to be serious for even a second "Only a douchebag would drive an electric car" Zoom zoom bye bye I'll see you again in a week and a day No way I see the bus and I'm way over here Looks like I missed it Again again I suppose the right thing to do it just leave I don't know about this But I'm going to give this a try I wanna see what's under your eyelids I wanna see what the surprise is Don't tell me anything I want to see your female offspring Bup bup bup
17.
Backer 01:48
Tongue-tied and knotted not in my favour Couldn't've told you I'm yanking my shrinking collar Everyone is riled up over and out on Knocked pylons Lay back in your landfill I'll be your backer Back me up Because I will always back you And you will back Striking oil like jett rink or daniel plainview Plugged sink Leaking out through my pants I leave a trail everywhere I go Open slowly my tracks go back and bath and bomb themselves However I will continuously conquer Lurching forward Leaning backwords Nifty little thingy key-chained shame on your backpack
18.
Qwerty Pie 03:04
Tied my necktie too tight I know Is this what I shaved my face for? Spotlight shining right on the door Let's f up this dance-floor Dance move like twister operation Rubix cube bonus concentration Electric eel do the worm Yank my shoulder clear the room You are my dance partner qt pie I'll spin you like a dreidel You are my dance partner qt pie We'll get some ice cream later If you wanna be ya wanna be the one Trust me you're a qt pie You already are You make me happy cry a la mode Rattling the gist, let's just say trying to goad Do the splits let's leave and say we're coming back Crack in the phone on all of the tracks How we will use this gps with all of these cracks Also at 4% we sure are wack Borrowing some stranger's charger I've been borrowing too much lately Crashing the party with a big boom Let's stay in cozy fruit of the loom
19.
I'm waiting for Monday A real one with school or something Apply to anything (anything!) But is anything better than nothing Am I supposed to jackknife dive when I'm not ready I'd rather cannonball into a pool of jelly Can I say anything Let me knock your socks off And rip through your tip top I want to fall for your its bitsy little tricks You're just a little b*tch I know that I will forget 1 day 1 day Anything I want, anything I need I'll just drive off into the garbage sea Wrecking my esophagus Breaking things on purpose I don't know how to act on this long ass weekend Don't waste your time with that ice cream scoop in your socket We'll always have next year we'll f*ck up that one too
20.
Kirby 02:30
Kirby, you are looking Curvy, the boys are topsy- Turvy, because they can't have you Kirby, I think I'm getting Scurvy, starting to get Worried Don't spontaneously combust on me Kirby, you will win the Derby, underdog Journey Everybody loves you Kirby Let's go to hmv Let's burn some cd's and turn em into mp3's Then you can figure out iTunes with me Nevermind, I don't know how that works I guess we can watch a movie instead I'll ask my dad how iTunes works Then later, we can listen to music on our MP3 players or in the car We can put cd's in the car Listen to music like that What do you like Do you like rock Alternative rock music Grunge perhaps? F I don't know This is the hardest decision of my young adult life What's a vinyl Is that like a stretched out cd? I don't think we'll like those What's a cassette? Is that like those things you always have to rewind I don't know, I think Kirby might, let's ask them Kirby Let's make a movie Kill some bad guys save some good guys Save the world if we got some extra time leftover Kirby I would never not be nice to you Kirby I can count on you consistently Every day, every day Let's start a band! If we started a band what would we sound like? Probably not alternative rock
21.
It's a hell of a time to wanna start to switch lives Especially since you can't swap spit With someone you high-five Every jab makes me less jaunty at my job Go get the groceries I got appleseeds in my tummy I'm a pig rotisserie You're so blue in th' face Anyplace you'd like to go? And I don't even have a word No I don't even have a word And I'm grasping at straws Grasping at lots of lost straws If I could change my colour I'd paint myself daphne blue Tanning beds that tan your heads And brighten your hue There's not enough room in your hot-air balloon I'd love to go around the world in 80 minutes But then you lied to us lied to us lied to us too much And now we'll try to forget us
22.
I was born with a path Crossing yours like an intersection And for once my lights are green and so are yours Crashing and crushing you with my firetruck flailing Next to your mopey-eyed moped Sputtering donuts I catch your eyeballs ping pong back and forth Pang so hard Exchanging ouches When you said exactly What I was hoping you'd say When I say I I mean us I am plural You are my world When you say you You mean me too You are plural You are my world

about

Welcome to the bounce castle.

Released on Art of the Uncarved Block on May 28th 2020.
Cassette release whenever it is safe to do so.

www.artoftheuncarvedblock.com

credits

released May 28, 2020

Nolan Jakupovski - guitar, vocals, mix+master
Cameron Leslie - bass, vocals
Brendan Cooke - drums
Ali Garvin - keys, vocals

Album Art by Sylvia @oldsmobile1994

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Mildew Mildew Mississauga, Ontario

Mississauga Noise Pop started in the summer of 2018.
Art of the Uncarved Block.
mildewmildewband@gmail.com

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